Addicted to happiness

There is no denying that it feels good to be happy. We can experience fluctuations in our emotions. God created us in his image. We are the magnificent creation that he gave emotions and a will. Our feelings are a response; they don't have their own life. Unfortunately, today we view them as a separate entity that must be treated as if they were physical. Instead of experiencing emotions as an alarm to call our attention to something else, we treat our feelings as the subject. Sadly, we believe we should be happy, and with that mentality, we go to extremes to make happiness our reality. It has become an idol. We have become addicted to happiness.

What are some reasons happiness may be limited? There may be physiological disorders that can turn happiness off and turn on sadness or even depression. Maybe there is brain trauma or thyroid anomalies. We don't medicate the emotions; no, a doctor may prescribe medication for the physical malady. The emotion is an alarm that comes along with the physical brokenness. Secondly, we may be a Christian, and we are not living in line with God's Word, and his joy alludes us. I guarantee you happiness is absent too. It is the responsibility of the follower of Jesus to repent and begin to imitate the Lord again. Another reason that we can also find our happiness limited is if we suffer loss, things, or worse, a loved one. These are very legitimate reasons we may not experience happiness. What do most people do when happiness is not being experienced? They do all they can to regain it. They look for ways to bring the idol back to the forefront of their lives.

Is happiness a promise for God's people? There are promises for happiness, conditionally. There is a caveat for that happiness, obedience. And the Bible doesn't say how that happiness looks or how it comes, or when it will show up. Even in that promise we walk by faith. When folks say, "happiness is based on circumstances," they are somewhat accurate. Happiness is conditional is more accurate. Wherever you see the term "blessed" in Scripture, you are looking at the word "happy" or "happiness" conditioned by God. In the last paragraph, I address Christians who are not in line with God's Word and are experiencing unhappiness. Not being in line with God's Word will and should bring unhappiness. It is proof that we are filled with his Spirit. Most of us want God to give us happiness and allow us to live any way we want. That is not what our Lord will do. We may experience a lack of happiness for various reasons, will medication exchange sad for happy? In most cases it does not. There is usually something in life that may need to be reflected on or rearranged. Physically, it may be diet, exercise, or sleep habits. Maybe it is something that time will fix, but you have to deal with it medicated or not. How does contentment fit? Circumstances may be such that happiness will be alluded for a while, sometimes a long time. Life doesn't promise us a panacea, even for Christians. Life dealt with wisely and purposely allows for opportunities to become better instead of bitter. Having a north star gives answers to help you walk toward better over bitter. That north star is Jesus himself. His Word commands his followers to be content. 1 Timothy 6:6-11, Philippians 4:11-13. His followers must choose this. We can find ourselves questioning why we are not happy. Choosing contentment in these moments is to obey our Lord.

What happens if happiness does not come back after doing all God's Word says? Many of you know my son died in September. I found it spiritually productive to give my pain to God. Even choosing to do that did not elevate the emotional pain of losing a child. I'm still not experiencing happiness because other things have come up that suffocate this emotion. Yet, I made a deliberate choice to give all of this to God through his Word. If I sought counsel, it is possible that person may tell me, "you have a right to your anger." How long would I have a right to that anger? What happens if that anger spins into something that contradicts God. The word speaks to us about the power of anger leading to sin, James 1:20 says, "for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." If I obey man and not God in my anger, I will find myself sadder and possibly depressed or discouraged even more. Many people have adopted the counsel of the wicked and find themselves acting more sinfully to achieve their addiction. They become more despondent, operating out of that and sinning more to chase their obsession and continue to find happiness alluding them. I chose not to do that. Instead, I searched for what God says about mourning, "that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope." While I may grieve I must do it in a specific way that God commands, hoping in God. In other words, I have no right to anger that is not righteous. My anger is not righteous. It is all about me. I sought to right my emotions by understanding and knowing God's character and his plan for man. That's what gives me hope. Whether I experience happiness or not, I experience the Truth of God, that is more satisfying than any emotion that I may or may not have. Too few believers live making Jesus their priority. And because of that, even they experience the trap of the addiction to being happy. I recognize happiness ebbs and flows.

What if a lack of happiness is the trial? We choose to "seek first his kingdom..." not seek emotional fulfillment. God's Word is not missing direction for life and godliness. When we are not addicted to happiness we can find answers to our condition. We seek God not personal satisfaction. We trust ourselves to our creator and Lord.

How do we live a life of joy even when happiness alludes us? Examining ourselves against God's Word is due diligence. Facing reality, in my case, that losing a son is not happy days was essential. We choose to walk in faith that happiness will not be gone forever. Appreciating where life's circumstances have us is not to be addicted to happiness. We should thank God when we experience it; happiness is a gift from God. Being in a sinful world that groans in its existence and we do too is to understand that happiness is not the natural condition of things. We must change our perspective on happiness.

What if I just want to feel better? It does feel good to feel good or to be happy, but it is not guaranteed. If you read the Bible, you will find that happiness is less normative. Tribulations, trials, and persecution are the promise found in the Bible. No wonder God offers us joy primarily which is contentment of the soul despite our circumstances. The Bible conditions happiness to our obedience. Yet, that happiness that comes from God brings tribulation, trials, and persecution because it means you and I are living in compliance with Jesus, and the world will hate us because it hated him. That diminishes our happiness. Oh goodness!

How do I let go of this addiction? Addiction to happiness will cause more complications in our lives. Viewing life from happy militates from selfishness, self-focus, and self-gratification at the expense of our loved ones and obedience to God. Every addiction is self-aggrandizing. Jesus tells us, "whoever wants to be my disciples must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." To do this is to offer him all our addictions and trust him to give us victory through them. You notice I did not say victory over them. We may live to fight them all our lives, but we can have victory through them. Please don't read this and conclude that we need to be miserable. That is not what you are reading. I am saying that looking for happiness as the normal emotional state of your life is to live foolishly and not in reality. Attempting to avoid the discomfort of lacking happiness through drugs, the counsel of the scornful, and selfishly neglecting others by putting yourself first is to sin. It is to have a worldly perspective. It is to continue in unhappiness. God will not relent if you do not repent.

I'll admit to you that I am not happy at this moment in my life. I have so much that seems to be coming over me like a flood. I took steps that can redirect but may still not fix my emotions. I have changed my diet. I go to bed earlier; I have had a physical, I'm pretty healthy. I examined my life and choices to make sure they align with God's Word. I have repented for sin. I flee temptation. Losing my son and the holidays coming is a big part of my emotional swing. My husband has to work for the Thanksgiving holiday and that is not helping. None of my kids are coming into town, that's a first. The greatest thing through this time is recognizing this is a season. This too, will pass. I will choose to become better through this time of sanctification. I will become more faithful to my LORD through it. That is all about choice and walking by faith.

What is the conclusion of it all? I don't need to be happy to know that I can rest safely in the Lord. I can move into my days and enjoy the knowledge of his presence. I will make wise choices. I don't spin money because unhappiness can be the wrong time to spend money. I watch what I eat because unhappiness can add weight onto my frame, not needed weight. I know my emotions can lead me in directions I don't want to go. My choices are evidence that I am not addicted to happiness, but that I am walking wisely through a negative emotional time. In juxtaposition, I've made more time to spend with the Lord. I read my Bible and Christian theology books to fill my cup. I spend more time in prayer. I journal what's happening so I don't vent sinfully. I recognize that this too shall pass. I choose instead, becoming more addicted to Jesus. There is a wholeness of soul that comes with an addiction to him. That cannot be achieved with an idol. An addiction to happiness can lead to more unhappiness. Only Jesus is the winning conclusion, but that doesn't happen in a moment. It takes faithfulness and perseverance, James 1:12.