Concern for our children never goes away. As a mom of grown children, my mantra is, "I no longer get to parent, but I'll always be a mom and their greatest prayer warrior." The latter allows me to keep my children and their life choices on the scale of Scripture and leave all my burdens for them in God's hands. I can hold them loosely because God keeps them. I don’t get to redirect them because that is not my job anymore. As a sidebar, too many women and some men attempt to run their grown children’s lives (especially those not living in their homes), and that is more of a control issue than a Biblically affirmed decision. That sidebar was necessary. It leads to this topic: Trusting our children to God, especially when they are no longer in our homes.
The greatest gift we can offer them is constant prayer and biblical advice when they ask. Respecting them as you would other adults and trusting God’s care for them is where you and I are strengthened in our faith in our Great God. This is what it says in the Gospel of Luke. This is key in helping us loosen our grip on our grown children.
Luke 12:6-7 "Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. 7 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
All five of my children have moved into adult life. Our son passed away in 2021. As they live their lives in this world’s system, which is antithetical to God, concern and worry can be a consuming fire for a mom who wants the best for them. God’s best is not always what they meet or invite into their lives. When I say “a mom who wants the best…” this is that they love God and people. The best is that they honor him by living in obedience, regardless of their career field or direction. None of the latter matters if they choose God first; those choices will be legal, moral, and not sinful.
With that in mind, these verses were placed in my heart this morning as I prayed for my girls. Jesus pointed out that God does not forget the birds and cares for them. He stressed to his listeners that the Father knows every one of the birds. He says, “You are of more value than many sparrows.” That provides a depth of peace that nothing else can offer as my children go about life, out of eye or earshot of their dad and me. After all, two of the four are grown—up with their own families.
Jesus then pushes the illustration by adding that the Father even keeps track of the hair count of every human head. That is probably more hyperbolic, but it stresses his care. The bigger picture is that the birds nor human hair is the point of the conversation. The significance of this teaching is us and those we care about. My children are the point; their care is in his hands, and I can let them go to a proven faithful God, where faith exhales. The very children I bring before Him with a mother's concern are cared for in detail by my Heavenly Father. The same God with all that detailed, technical concern for the birds and human hair has an even more intense, watchful concern for my children. I cannot stop praying for them; that remains a responsibility I am given. But worrying about their choices, godly or not, is His responsibility to care for all that. He gets to discipline, where my ability to correct them is no longer in my hands. We all know our grown children do not want to listen to their mom. Yet, God knows the discipline that will get their attention and change their direction.
How does Jesus prove this care to be true? He lived to die for every human being. While we all were his enemies, he and The Father made a rescue plan. He planned to make himself available for the salvation of every man and woman who would repent of their sins and accept his salvation. For further proof, He sent His Spirit to dwell in each believer so that they would have victory over the Flesh, the Devil, and the World. If that was important enough for Him to do, can't we then trust Him for our daily care? Can we trust Him to care for our children? We cannot protect them from everything, but He can be with them through everything. That alone offers me great peace and a resolve never to stop praying for them.
When I got up from prayer this morning, I asked myself, "What is there to worry about?" God knows the hair of their heads, the day of their births, and the middle and the end of every trial they will face. He knows their doubts, worries, struggles, and (fill in your word). I don’t need to carry those. Every parent has permission to give those to God and then rest in His care for them. I can trust Him for the good, bad, and the ugly. No matter what they go through, I see through a Biblical lens that the circumstances are God drawing, teaching, disciplining, and loving them in all of it. Another faith exhale moment for a godly parent who has trusted their children to God. It is not always easy to see, but we can have peace knowing this is His care for them.
It's hard to believe anyone can love a child more than their mother. Yet, we have a God who does. God cares for the birds in detail and counts our hair, and mine falls out with every brush stroke; I can continually carry the concern for my children to Him. He can handle them better than me, especially now that they are grown. I don't know what they are doing at any moment. Again, they are grown and live independently, but He is watching them. He knows the depth of truth my husband and I have instilled in them. He knows the memory verses, the Bible lessons, and the life lessons that helped them see how life and godliness join. He knows how the world pulls at them. He knows their vulnerabilities. He knows everything! He even knows how they resist Him. This is the kind of attention to detail God cares for.
I have a hope that lets me rest my head in peace at night and wakes me up with the privilege and joy I get in my mom role to pray for them. I am assured He doesn’t forget the sparrows, so I can rest and wake up knowing He does not forget my children. I lay my head down at night, knowing God has the details of my children’s lives in His reliable hands. There is joy in that realization. How can I worry and dishonor him with such a foolish lack of faith? I can’t! I have experienced His faithfulness in my own life in unique ways. I cannot but trust His faithfulness in my children’s lives. This is an early Mother’s Day message. You can hold them loosely because they are in God’s hands.
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