The pithy chiding "I do it myself" has a familiar ring to many moms and dads. The most memorable moment hearing this statement was from the vacillating mouth of my 2nd oldest. We were in the kitchen, and she sat, 3 years old, on the floor, attempting to put her shoes on. As we prepared to leave, I asked her, "honey would you like me to help you put your shoes on?" The beautiful smile of my three-year-old proudly looked at me and stated, "no, mommy, I do it myself." I began to walk away and heard a desperate plea, "Mommy, help me!" I rushed back to her side and bent over. As I reached out to help her, she pulled away, fussing, "no, mommy, I do it myself." The tug of war lasted for what seemed like forever, but more like 5 minutes. The ironic thing, this memory is so vivid I can see it now, yet I cannot remember who won the battle. Today the answer to that is inconsequential. She is now a grown 30 years old woman. I believe she finally did exhaust herself, but she might remember the story differently.
However, there is still a consequence for thinking that "I do it myself" doesn't impact us if it also means, "Lord, I don't need you until I want you." Israel tried that in Jeremiah 2:12 Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the Lord, 13 for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water." When Mickaela declared, "I do it myself," her intention was not to forsake me or say she never needs me. Her goal was what all children eventually do, growing up. As our children grow up, they do more things independently. They do many things the "I do it myself" way.
The difference between childhood, where we grow up and become independent, and Christianity, is that we become more dependent on Christ. As we grow up in the Lord, there is no "I do it myself." As Israel went through the journey from Egypt to the promised land, their sin was they grew away from the Lord who supplied all their needs. The Lord wanted to use their dependence on him to change the world. Instead, Israel wanted to be like the evil countries around them. Over and over, they told God, "I do it myself."
God's magnanimity approached them repeatedly when they cried out for his help. He forgave and offered his grace for years until he sent His Son. Unfortunately, when they got comfortable and thought life was easy, they fuss at God and say, "I do it myself." God had no problem eventually giving them what they asked for. He also said, "how can I give you up, O Ephraim?" As I did with Mickaela, waiting at the door for her to call out for help. ; I waited; I couldn't give up on her and leave her to herself. I knew she'd need me again. God waited 400ish years for Israel to cry out for help, even though they'd get comfortable and dismiss God with the adage, "I do it myself." He would eventually choose a people along with many of the remnant of Israel who'd say, "Lord, your will be done." Those who wanted to live in their religiosity eventually were given over to that way of life. He left them to "do it themselves."
The Lord does not want his children to do anything themselves. Jesus tells his disciples they are no longer slaves but friends. That is not to say we are not slaves. The Scriptures speak in what is called "limited negatives." which is to say, you are not only slaves but friends too. There are a few of those in the New Testament. God gives us his Spirit to help us walk this life his way and with his help. We don't have to battle between "I do it myself" and "Lord, I surrender." We are not asked to try harder but to surrender. We are not asked to figure it out but to know him. We are not asked to "do it myself" but to obey and follow.
There are many memories I have stored away from raising my children. The memories that stand out the most are the battles they had with me over their independence and their desire for autonomy. While Jesus tells us to come to him like children, growing in autonomy is not the character trait we are called to emulate. God's children are those who, like Jesus says, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent me," John 4:34. That calls for complete dependency, never "I do it myself." Jesus never did anything in his power. He was dependent on His Father and the Spirit of His Father. That is how the religious leaders knew he was who his life demonstrated.
I finally got Mickaela to surrender to me and let me help her; I believe that's how the day in the kitchen ended. If we are God's, we must surrender the "I do it myself" to the "my life is to do the will of my Lord and Savior; I can do nothing of myself." There is no "I do it myself" in the Kingdom of God.
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